sad...!

I feel sad. But. I feel okay with that. I like to sit and stare. And the pep people usually associate with me is slower in coming out right now. But I don't feel sad that I'm sad or bitter about it. Maybe it's just that something's missing and I feel a sadness deep down, so I'm sad, but because I don't know what it is...I can't really be sad over it. I remember after my friend Natalee died, that months later when I was still just...sad...I thought, 'Well this just must be how it goes. You reach a point in your life where you realize that life is just hard and from there on out it's just a battle. But then I had really good times after that. A year and a half later I went through my most happiest to-date. For months I couldn't wait to get up everyday and drink in each experience that was waiting for me. So I sense that it's an ebb and flow. And I'm really thankful for that perspective this time around. I'm settled in my sadness and I appreciate its lessons. So, in a way, I really feel kind of happy about it.